Top tips for talking to children about staying safe online
1. Start with the positives
Being online can be a great way for children to learn, be creative, and stay connected with friends and family. Recognising these benefits helps keep conversations balanced and encourages confident, safe use of technology.
2. Find the right time and place
Choose a calm moment to talk, such as during a walk, car journey, or shared activity. Avoid starting the conversation when emotions are high or during a disagreement.
3. Use child-facing resources and advice
Support your conversation with age-appropriate tools, videos, or guides. These can help children understand key messages and make the discussion more engaging and relevant to their stage of development.
4. Ask about their experiences
Use open questions like:
- ‘Have you seen anything online that made you uncomfortable?’
- ‘Who do you chat with online?’
- ‘Are they people you know offline?’
- ‘How do you feel when using certain apps or games?’
5. Make it part of everyday life
These chats don’t need to be formal or one-off. Regular, relaxed conversations help children feel supported and more likely to speak up if something worries them.
Questions that you might have as a parent or carer
Use age-appropriate tools like Talk PANTS, Techosaurus, or LEGO’s Build & Talk activities to make online safety engaging and easy to understand. Keep language clear, avoid jargon, and reassure children they can talk to you about anything.
Help them build healthy habits from a young age, such as thinking before sharing, asking for help when unsure, and taking breaks from screens. If something has gone wrong, stay calm and focus on support, not blame. This helps children feel safe coming to you, no matter what’s happened.
Regular, relaxed conversations help build trust. Respect your child’s privacy and use tech to connect – sometimes a quick text feels less intense than a face-to-face chat. Ask how social media makes them feel and talk together about boundaries that feel fair and supportive.
Avoid framing technology as 'bad' or banning it altogether as young people often say this feels like a punishment or that adults don’t understand their world. Instead, focus on helping them use it safely and responsibly. Let them know they can always come to you, and suggest other trusted adults they can talk to, like a family member, teacher, or Childline.
It’s completely normal to feel anxious or uneasy. Conversations about online safety, upsetting content or risky behaviour can be emotionally difficult and complex.
But you don’t need to have all the answers or be an expert.
What matters most is your presence and your willingness to listen. Start by choosing a moment when things feel calm – maybe during a walk, a car ride, or even over dinner.
If face-to-face feels too intense, consider talking via text or messages as this may ease the pressure.
Let your child know you’re there to support, not judge. Being curious, open, and calm helps create a safe space where they feel heard and respected.
It’s common for children to push back against rules, especially if they feel they’re being told what to do without being understood.
One of the most effective ways to guide them is by showing, not just telling. Children often learn more from what we do than what we say, so modelling healthy digital habits, like taking breaks from screens, being kind online, and thinking before sharing, can have a big impact.
Rather than banning technology or focusing only on what they shouldn’t do, try involving them in setting boundaries together. This helps them feel heard and more likely to stick to the rules. It also avoids making technology feel like the enemy – something many young people say makes them feel misunderstood or punished.
Modelling healthy digital habits is one of the most powerful ways to guide them. This includes:
- Respecting privacy: Keep your own passwords secure and ask before sharing photos of others
- Taking breaks: Show that it’s okay to step away from screens and prioritise offline time
- Being mindful online: Avoid oversharing and demonstrate how to engage respectfully in digital spaces
When you model these behaviours, it becomes easier to talk about them. You’re not just telling your child what’s right – you’re showing them.
That’s perfectly okay. You’re not expected to have all the answers, especially when dealing with complex or unfamiliar situations. What matters most is that your child feels heard and supported.
Start by listening without interrupting. Ask open-ended questions like, ‘How did that make you feel?’ or ‘What do you think we should do next?’ If you’re unsure, be honest - say something like, ‘I’m not sure, but let’s figure it out together.’ You can explore trusted resources like Childline’s online safety hub together.
If you're unsure how to respond, you don’t have to figure it out on your own. You can contact the NSPCC Helpline for confidential advice and support, or speak to your child’s school, which may be able to offer guidance or connect you with further resources.
It’s natural to worry about saying the wrong thing, especially when emotions are high. But silence can be more harmful than an imperfect conversation. If you say something that doesn’t land well, you can always revisit it later.
You don’t need to cover everything in one conversation - sometimes it works better to keep things ongoing and revisit topics over time. This helps children absorb information gradually and makes it easier to talk openly as new situations come up.
Focus on being calm, open, and non-judgmental. Avoid reacting with anger or panic - instead, validate their feelings and reassure them that you’re there to help. You might say, “I didn’t mean to upset you, I just want to understand and support you.”
Building trust takes time and showing that you’re willing to learn and grow together is incredibly powerful.
This can be one of the hardest situations to navigate, but your response can make a huge difference. Start by choosing a calm moment - not when emotions are running high. If it’s too difficult to talk in person, consider starting with a message or note to open the door.
If your child shares something upsetting, focus first on helping them feel safe and reducing the risk of further harm. Say something like, 'I’m really sorry you had to see that – I’m here to help you through it.' Reassure them they’re not in trouble, and that you’ll work together to find a solution.
If they’ve broken family rules around technology use, revisit those together when the time is right. Explore why it happened, whether the rules still feel fair and relevant, and what might help them stick to them in future. This approach helps children feel heard and supported, rather than blamed.
Depending on the situation, you might need to:
- report harmful content or block users
- seek professional support if the issue is serious or ongoing
- set boundaries together around screen time or app usage.
The key is to approach the situation with empathy and collaboration, not control.
They may feel a mix of emotions:
- embarrassed or ashamed about what they have experienced
- confused or anxious about what might happen next
- worried about your reaction or getting into trouble
- happy or validated by likes and comments.
Let them know all feelings are valid and they can talk to you anytime.
Tips if you're worried:
- stay calm and open
- ask what they enjoy and what worries them online
- involve them in decisions about app use and safety.
Other people children can talk to
But no matter how hard we try, there may be things that children won’t open up to, so it’s important that we give them other options. That could be:
- another adult family member, e.g. aunt, older cousin etc.
- a teacher or member of the pastoral team in school
- Childline on 0800 1111 or visiting the Childline website.
LEGO® Build & Talk
We’re working with the LEGO Group to bring Build & Talk activities to families across the UK. These activities make learning about online safety fun, hands-on, and easy to start.
