Pros and cons of children sharing bedrooms
Many families find their children enjoy sharing a room because:
- It’s the best way to use the space they have available.
- Siblings or step-siblings enjoy one another’s company and want to share.
- Fun arrangements like bunk beds can be exciting for children.
However:
- Some children may resent not having their own space.
- A child may feel uncertain if the sharing is happening because of a wider change they’re unsure of (eg blending families).
- You may have worries about overcrowding and the support you’re entitled to.
Whatever the reason is for children sharing bedrooms, we’ve got advice that can help.
Our tips for children sharing a bedroom
If you’re trying to decide whether it’s a good idea for children to share a bedroom, here are a few questions to consider.
- Do your children get on well?
- What's their relationship like?
- What is the age gap between your children?
- Will different bedtimes and morning schedules stop children getting their rest?
- How big is the room?
- Will there be enough storage and space for two or more children to be comfortable?
Talk to your child
Talk to your child to prepare them for any changes or new routines.
For example, if they're an older child that’s going to be sharing with a toddler, let them know what to expect. Allow them some time to adapt if possible. You could try arranging sleepovers first to give them a chance to get used to the new arrangements.
Agree some room rules
Things to think about include:
- Are there any toys that are off limits or aren't appropriate for younger children?
- Can everyone have their own storage space so it’s clear whose stuff is whose?
- If there’s a big age gap between your children, what are the house rules when one has friends over to visit?
- Are they allowed to play together without supervision?
- Do your children get up and go to bed at different times? Think about setting a designated 'quiet time' – in the morning and at night – to make sure everyone's able to sleep properly.
Decorate with everyone in mind
You can decorate so everyone feels like they have their own space. If the move is recent or unexpected, this can help children get excited about the change.
There might be ways of creating some privacy with a screen or curtain rail.
Check out Pinterest for ideas around how bedrooms can be set up to accommodate different needs.
Think about bedtimes
If there's an age gap between the children sharing, think about their current bedtimes and how they sleep. Putting children to bed at the same time can mean that they stay up later than you planned.
It’s good to factor in some ‘settling down’ time when deciding on a bedtime for both.
If one child is younger, consider setting them an earlier bedtime to make sure they're getting enough rest.
At what age can siblings share a bedroom?
Once your child is sleeping through the night comfortably it might work best for your family if they share a room with a sibling.
The age siblings can happily share a bedroom will be different for every family and depend on your children’s needs and personalities.
As children grow up, they might want more privacy and need their own space.
It's recommended that children over the age of 101 should have their own bedrooms – even if they're siblings or step-siblings.
We know this isn't always possible. If your children share, try to have regular conversations with them about how they're feeling and allow for them to have private time.
Sharing with other children in the short term
Even if sleeping arrangements are only for a short time – like on holiday – parents or carers should decide in advance where everyone will be sleeping.
Speak to everyone individually and, if anyone feels uncomfortable, try to find an alternative that everyone’s happy with.
It's a good idea to talk to your children about their comfort and safety before they stay away from home without you.
For younger children remind them of The Underwear Rule and you could also use our PANTS resources to help.
For older children you can see our tips on conversation starters. Tell them they can always speak to you or a trusted adult if anything makes them feel uncomfortable or is worrying them.
Sharing with parents
It's important you and your child both have some privacy and space for yourselves so we wouldn't recommend children sharing a room with a parent long-term.
If you have a baby or toddler, we have some advice about sleep at different ages.
If you’re in council housing or your house is owned by a Housing Association, you’re entitled to a bedroom for every person over 16 years old (18 years old in Northern Ireland) and every married couple so you shouldn’t need to share a room with your child.
For more information on housing, see our advice below.
Get more parenting advice
References
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1. Overcrowding is defined in the Housing Act 1985 – section 325-326.
Children sharing a bedroom in social housing
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