Tips and advice to help keep your kids safe
Talk PANTS is here to help children understand that they have a right to say no and if they need to speak out about something, someone will listen.
We know that a simple conversation can make a BIG difference, and that’s what Talk PANTS is all about. To help you get the conversation started, we’ll send you helpful tips, advice and materials by email.
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What are the PANTS rules?
Your underwear covers up your private parts and no one should ask to see or touch them. Sometimes a doctor, nurse or family members might have to. But they should always explain why, and ask you if it's OK first. Remember, what's in your pants belongs only to you.
Your body belongs to you. No one should ever make you do things that make you feel embarrassed or uncomfortable. If someone asks to see, or tries to touch you, underneath your underwear, say 'NO' – and tell someone you trust and like to speak to.
No one has the right to make you do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. If somebody does make you do something, it is never your fault. Even if the person who has made you feel uncomfortable, has told you it is your fault.
No means no and you always have the right to say ‘no’ – even to a family member or someone you love. You’re in control of your body and the most important thing is how YOU feel. If you want to say ‘no’, it’s your choice.
There are good and bad secrets. Good secrets can be things like surprise parties or presents for other people. Bad secrets make you feel sad, worried or frightened. You should always talk to a safe adult who you trust about a bad secret or anything that doesn't feel right.
Talk about stuff that makes you worried or upset. If you ever feel sad, anxious or frightened you should talk to a safe adult who you trust. This doesn't have to be a family member. It can also be a teacher or a friend's parent – or even Childline.
Talking should not get you into trouble, even if somebody has told you it will. If something has happened that makes you feel uncomfortable, it is never your fault.
When's the right time to talk PANTS?
Every family is different, and when and where you have these conversations may depend on your child's age, or how grown up they are - it's all about whatever feels natural for you and them.
Some examples of times you can talk PANTS are:
- After school – if they've had a lesson on personal relationships or Talk PANTS at school, ask them what they remember when they get home.
- Bathtime – you could start a conversation when you're running your child's bath, or helping them get dressed.
- Car journeys – this can be a great time to talk, and your child will have plenty of time to ask questions if they need.
- Reading our new PANTS storybook together.
- Singing – sing along to our PANTS song with Pantosaurus!
- Swimming – a great time to say that what's covered by swimwear is private.
- Walking – walking home from school, or a weekend walk to the shops can help you both feel more at ease as you stroll and chat.
- Watching TV – if a TV show features a sensitive storyline, you can encourage them to talk about anything that upsets them.
Still not sure about something? Click below to view answers to some of our most frequently asked questions.
Shop our PANTS range
You can buy our PANTS book from our online shop and at Matalan stores across the UK. All profits will support our vital work, fighting for every childhood.
We also have a huge range of other PANTS products, including colourful back-to-school accessories, colouring books and a PANTS activity pack that helps children learn about staying safe.
Get the PANTS guide that's right for you
We have a wide range of PANTS guides, videos and resources to help you talk PANTS.
If you're looking for PANTS in English, Welsh or another language, talk PANTS Makaton and BSL videos, or resources for parents and children, we can help.
Support from the NSPCC Helpline
If you're worried about a child, we're here to provide support and advice to help you. Whatever your concern, you can call the NSPCC Helpline on 0808 800 5000
Due to an increase in demand across our services, our voice Helpline is currently operating between the hours of 10am–8pm Monday to Friday. You can still talk to us or make an online report by email at any time at help@nspcc.org.uk.
Advice and resources for you
Illustration credits
Illustrations by Jamie Nash.